Hi Friends,
How are you doing..???..First of all..Apologies, I could not post yesterday as I was quite busy with some admin work related to my blog.And the result you can see at my blog.Comment Down below How you like the new look and feel of it.
You can also follow me on my new Facebook Page - https://www.facebook.com/pages/Doshobhuja/1408463236036545
We have a cool App for android now. You can download from here -
Doshobhuja App for Android
Now, Lets start today’s Topic. You may wonder why I chose this topic today.
Friends, The reason is “LIE” is ugly and “TRUTH” is beautiful.
We The Doshobhujas are beautiful both Inside and outside. I strongly believe a true beauty should come from inside.A truthful honest innocent face catches more attention than a dishonest lying Face.
Lets Face it, In day to day life we come across many people who lie to us.The bad part of it is, they can be our relatives, close Friends,Boyfriends,Girlfriends whom you don’t want to hurt by spotting their lies.So, these guidelines are strongly written for spotting them and make ourselves protected or help them.Its not about fighting with them telling them a “LIAR”.As the last thing one could do is hurting someone UNTIL ITS REALLY HARMFUL FOR YOU!!
Different Types of Liars
In a great book on understanding and observing people, Mark Mazzarella and Jo Ellan [1] Demetrius and Mazzarella , Reading People,” Ballantine, NY 1998 , describes 4 types of liars:
And, One I want to add is “White Lies” – which is the most innocent among all lies..
So, Lets start..
The Occasional Liars
They only lie sometimes and They do it to avoid an unpleasant situation or not submitting anything wrong he/she did .The occasional liar is not a fan of lying and feels uncomfortable doing so. While being stressed by the act of lying, an occasional liar may be prepared. The lie may be well thought out, and it may be impossible to verify.So spotting them will be tricky.
For e.g
Kids often do that after exam, by saying their mom/dad that they have answered correctly all the questions to avoid unpleasant situation.Indian kids do this a lot..(including me
).
Boyfriends often get scared of their girlfriend’s reaction on hanging with another girl in a gathering or so. So, they often lies that he was with guy friends only.One of my very close friends used to do that.
Office goers do this a lot, while reaching office late because they woke up late(Hangovers..I telll you!!), they put the blame on traffic.
How to spot Occasional Liar
As they are not habituated Liars, they feel stressed while lying. So you could see some discomfort on their face or body language
You can ask them counter questions, like for the Kid example : “What answer did he.she gave for a particular question”. Or for Boyfriends , “ show me some photos of the outing” or “I am meeting today your friend “ABC” [who was their in that party]. They immediately feel stressed out and often confess the truth.
How to help Occasional Liars
The only key to help an Occasional Liar is making a Comfort Zone for them.
They lie due to fear and stress from something. May be its Mom or Girlfriends or Boss or anything and anyone.
So, Talk to them, build a strong pillar of Trust and Comfort. Make them understand, you won’t shout at them or harm them if they tell you the truth.
Once they tell you the truth, Have proper courage to listen to it and stay calm.Confession is a very courageous act, So be supportive whoever is confessing to you.
The Frequent Liars
The frequent liars know that he or she is lying, but it doesn’t bother him or her as much, so it becomes more regular. They are practiced, so they don’t feel stressed out like Occasional liars. As they are causal about their lies,they are not well prepared and might get sloppy with logic, details and internal consistency.
For e.g
Business Men, Real Estate Agents do this a lot. They sell some product saying some lies about it. Or Many Real Estate Agents sells apartments convincing the buyers by saying lots of lies about the apartments.They are aware of it but they tend to do it for their profit.
Some kids do, In school when teacher asks question, they act to fall sick, which is a lie.
Or some people or parents or kids, frequently lies about exam grades, numbers and other rankings.
How to spot Frequent Liars
1) Asking someone to repeat their version of events several times will often show the inconsistencies of a “relaxed” liar.
2) Ask them other questions and suddenly come to the same question they lied about.Most of the time they end up giving some different answer.
3) Collect stats from others about the particular subject.
How to help Frequent Liars
The one way is to make them realize that you understood their lies.And you are not going to befooled by him/her.
You don’t have fight with them, You can mention that you have collected some stats or facts about the subject.This makes them nervous.
Or, for kids call their parents to discuss about their health issue.
They key point is to make them realize that they are lying and this is wrong.
The White Lies
Well, This lie is by far the most innocent lies among all. These lies does not harm anyone.This is told to make someone happy or make a situation better.
For Example
We often lies about the price of the precious gift given to our parents. We make the price less, so that they don’t feel bad. It makes them happy and there is no harm saying this.
Or If someone looks “Not so good” or sings “Not so well” , We often lie to them that they look beautiful or they are singing nice.This is to make them happy and keep them motivated.There is no harm in it.
So Friends, that was my How to Catch a liar with Common Sense and Reasoning : Part 1, I will continue to the remaining categories of lies in the next article. Also In the coming post I will show some Physical signs of Liars which will help you to spot them more accurately.
Please follow me on google+ and subscribe to my blog on the right sidebar.
Stay Beautiful…
Bye…
How are you doing..???..First of all..Apologies, I could not post yesterday as I was quite busy with some admin work related to my blog.And the result you can see at my blog.Comment Down below How you like the new look and feel of it.
You can also follow me on my new Facebook Page - https://www.facebook.com/pages/Doshobhuja/1408463236036545
We have a cool App for android now. You can download from here -
Doshobhuja App for Android
Now, Lets start today’s Topic. You may wonder why I chose this topic today.
Friends, The reason is “LIE” is ugly and “TRUTH” is beautiful.
We The Doshobhujas are beautiful both Inside and outside. I strongly believe a true beauty should come from inside.A truthful honest innocent face catches more attention than a dishonest lying Face.
Lets Face it, In day to day life we come across many people who lie to us.The bad part of it is, they can be our relatives, close Friends,Boyfriends,Girlfriends whom you don’t want to hurt by spotting their lies.So, these guidelines are strongly written for spotting them and make ourselves protected or help them.Its not about fighting with them telling them a “LIAR”.As the last thing one could do is hurting someone UNTIL ITS REALLY HARMFUL FOR YOU!!
Different Types of Liars
In a great book on understanding and observing people, Mark Mazzarella and Jo Ellan [1] Demetrius and Mazzarella , Reading People,” Ballantine, NY 1998 , describes 4 types of liars:
And, One I want to add is “White Lies” – which is the most innocent among all lies..
So, Lets start..
The Occasional Liars
They only lie sometimes and They do it to avoid an unpleasant situation or not submitting anything wrong he/she did .The occasional liar is not a fan of lying and feels uncomfortable doing so. While being stressed by the act of lying, an occasional liar may be prepared. The lie may be well thought out, and it may be impossible to verify.So spotting them will be tricky.
For e.g
Kids often do that after exam, by saying their mom/dad that they have answered correctly all the questions to avoid unpleasant situation.Indian kids do this a lot..(including me
).Boyfriends often get scared of their girlfriend’s reaction on hanging with another girl in a gathering or so. So, they often lies that he was with guy friends only.One of my very close friends used to do that.
Office goers do this a lot, while reaching office late because they woke up late(Hangovers..I telll you!!), they put the blame on traffic.
How to spot Occasional Liar
As they are not habituated Liars, they feel stressed while lying. So you could see some discomfort on their face or body language
You can ask them counter questions, like for the Kid example : “What answer did he.she gave for a particular question”. Or for Boyfriends , “ show me some photos of the outing” or “I am meeting today your friend “ABC” [who was their in that party]. They immediately feel stressed out and often confess the truth.
How to help Occasional Liars
The only key to help an Occasional Liar is making a Comfort Zone for them.
They lie due to fear and stress from something. May be its Mom or Girlfriends or Boss or anything and anyone.
So, Talk to them, build a strong pillar of Trust and Comfort. Make them understand, you won’t shout at them or harm them if they tell you the truth.
Once they tell you the truth, Have proper courage to listen to it and stay calm.Confession is a very courageous act, So be supportive whoever is confessing to you.
The Frequent Liars
The frequent liars know that he or she is lying, but it doesn’t bother him or her as much, so it becomes more regular. They are practiced, so they don’t feel stressed out like Occasional liars. As they are causal about their lies,they are not well prepared and might get sloppy with logic, details and internal consistency.
For e.g
Business Men, Real Estate Agents do this a lot. They sell some product saying some lies about it. Or Many Real Estate Agents sells apartments convincing the buyers by saying lots of lies about the apartments.They are aware of it but they tend to do it for their profit.
Some kids do, In school when teacher asks question, they act to fall sick, which is a lie.
Or some people or parents or kids, frequently lies about exam grades, numbers and other rankings.
How to spot Frequent Liars
1) Asking someone to repeat their version of events several times will often show the inconsistencies of a “relaxed” liar.
2) Ask them other questions and suddenly come to the same question they lied about.Most of the time they end up giving some different answer.
3) Collect stats from others about the particular subject.
How to help Frequent Liars
The one way is to make them realize that you understood their lies.And you are not going to befooled by him/her.
You don’t have fight with them, You can mention that you have collected some stats or facts about the subject.This makes them nervous.
Or, for kids call their parents to discuss about their health issue.
They key point is to make them realize that they are lying and this is wrong.
The White Lies
Well, This lie is by far the most innocent lies among all. These lies does not harm anyone.This is told to make someone happy or make a situation better.
For Example
We often lies about the price of the precious gift given to our parents. We make the price less, so that they don’t feel bad. It makes them happy and there is no harm saying this.
Or If someone looks “Not so good” or sings “Not so well” , We often lie to them that they look beautiful or they are singing nice.This is to make them happy and keep them motivated.There is no harm in it.
So Friends, that was my How to Catch a liar with Common Sense and Reasoning : Part 1, I will continue to the remaining categories of lies in the next article. Also In the coming post I will show some Physical signs of Liars which will help you to spot them more accurately.
Please follow me on google+ and subscribe to my blog on the right sidebar.
Stay Beautiful…
Bye…
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